Goals, Hopes, and Dreams – Day 1
July 16, 2018
Passion waning? Bored? How long has it been since you set new goals? How long has it been since you checked in with your heart so you could remember your hopes and dreams?
I first learned about the value of goals when I began recovering from codependency. Until then, I hadn’t thought much about formalized goal-setting. My first informal goal was to get as far away from the raging fire of addiction as I could. I had other vague dreams. I wanted work that was meaningful. I wanted a family, a husband, kids.
These goals and dreams weren’t conscious. But a pattern had already begun to emerge. Whenever I said what I wanted, that event would come to pass—as long as what I said I wanted concerned my destiny. The timing wasn’t mine. I always had to wait. And the reality of experiencing what I wanted was always different from the way I imagined it would feel. Reality was more of a struggle than the utopia I pictured in my dreams. And getting what I wanted never made me happy unless I was already happy first.
I have wanted many things in my life. When I was younger, I wanted to be a good wife, a writer, and a counselor. Later, I wanted to be a good single parent and earn enough money to support my kids. Accomplishing all these things required me to learn about myself.
When I had matured, I wanted other things. After my son, Shane, died, I wanted the pain to stop. But one day, I realized that the absence of pain would mean I hadn’t loved Shane as much as I did. This is when I became willing to learn about healing my heart and grief. I wanted to get up again and experience new things. I wanted to jump out of airplanes. I wanted to see the world: Egypt, Israel, China, and Tibet. I wanted to help other people whose hearts were broken through the loss of a loved one.
What do you want to do? There must be something that motivates and interests you. There’s magic in setting goals and saying what you want. “Be careful what you ask for, you might get it,” people warn. “Nothing comes to a dreamer but a dream,” other practical people advise. Well, when dreams come true—even if it’s just for a moment— that’s all right by me.
And the difference between our fantasies—how we think something is going to play out—and the way they actually do? That’s the stuff lessons are made of. It’s called life. Experience as much of it as you can.
Value: This week we’ll explore the value of goals, hopes, and dreams.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
About the author
In addiction and recovery circles, Melody Beattie is a household name. She is the best-selling author of numerous books.
One of Melody's more recent titles is The Grief Club, which was published in 2006. This inspirational book gives the reader an inside look at the miraculous phenomenon that occurs after loss--the being welcomed into a new "club" of sorts, a circle of people who have lived through similar grief and pain, whether it be the loss of a child, a spouse, a career, or even one's youth.