Say what you really want

What do you want? No, I’m not asking what thing you want, but rather what is it about that thing that you are seeking? Get to the root of your search. Do you want a new car? Do you want reliable transportation, or do you want the prestige that comes from driving a shiny new vehicle?

Do you really want to do that kind of work, or do you just want the money and prestige you hope it will bring? Do you want a romantic relationship? Do you want a partnership based on equal ground, or do you want someone to take care of you? What is it that you’re really looking for?

Get as specific as you can. When we examine our goals and dreams, we may find that they’re motivated by a deeper desire. I want to reach this point in my career, we say. Look deeper. What’s at the root of that goal? If what you’re desiring is creative freedom, maybe you can gain it in other ways than by getting a promotion.

If you want your spouse to quit drinking, perhaps what you’re really seeking is a calmer home environment and relief from the pain. If you can’t make him or her stop drinking, maybe there’s another way you can achieve that dream. Or maybe you’ll decide that you can contribute to that now, while waiting for your loved one to change.

Be honest in your search for the root of your goals. Some of the roots of your goals might not be so healthy after all; maybe the goal will need to change. But you could save yourself from heartache by discovering it now. Maybe the root is healthy, but you have placed too much value on following only one path to reach it.

Be aware of all the opportunities around you. Don’t sell life short. There may be more than one way to get what you really want.

God, help me become aware of what I’m really seeking in life.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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