Learn to deal with manipulations

Even if you understand and follow all of the rules for more effectively engaging manipulators, life with them is not likely to be easy.
— George K. Simon Jr.

Sometimes they want something. Sometimes they want someone. Sometimes they want someone to give them something or to feel a particular way. They want power, in some way, shape, or form. Manipulators prey on our weak spots.

Obsession and guilt are weapons.

Manipulators get us to use these weapons on ourselves.

Sometimes we can disengage from manipulators—walk away, set a clear limit, be done with them. Other times, it’s not that easy. We may be at least temporarily stuck with a boss or authority figure who indulges in heavy manipulation. One of our children may be going through a relentlessly manipulative period. We may have a parent whom we care about deeply who has adapted manipulation as a way of life.

Learn how to effectively deal with manipulators. Not everyone means what they say. People fling words about to hit our guilty, vain, or frightened spots. Recognize that tinge of guilt or coercion you feel when other people are trying to force you to do it their way. Learn to recognize when others are telling you what they believe you want to hear. Learn to not react, stay clear, practice nonresistance, and stay true to yourself.

Be gentle with yourself, if you have a manipulator in your life. You’re not responsible for the other person’s attempts at manipulation. You’re responsible for staying clear.

God, help me let go of the weak spots in myself that allow me to fall prey to manipulations. Help me stay clear of guilt and obsession so I can decide what’s best for me.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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