Deal with panic and anxiety

I can still remember the day. It was shortly after my divorce. I was a single parent with no money and two young children. It came upon me suddenly, out of the blue. I couldn’t breathe. My chest hurt. My heart hurt. I couldn’t stop it. I panicked. The more I panicked, the worse it got.

I called 911. The ambulance came. They gave me some oxygen, then politely told me not to worry; it was just a panic attack. I had experienced another one of those attacks, a long time ago. Right after I first married the children’s father, I had shut myself down from anxiety. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak from the fear I felt.

Many people experience panic and anxiety attacks. Maybe it’s happened to you. Maybe you’ve had only one or two incidents of it; maybe panic and anxiety make regular appearances in your life. Most people I’ve met have experienced fear.

These are a few little clues I’ve learned that have helped me to deal with my own attacks.

• Whenever we panic, our breath comes in shallow, awkward spurts. By deliberately breathing slowly and calmly, we can slow our panic down. We feed it by breathing fast. We put our bodies on hyperalert. If we breathe as though we’re relaxed, our bodies will start slowing down.

• Don’t respond to your panic with more fear. Sometimes we double what we’re going through by having an emotional reaction to our initial reaction. We’re afraid, because we’re feeling fear. Let yourself go through the original feeling without reacting to yourself.

• Instead of focusing on your fear, let yourself be aware that you’re feeling it, but deliberately do something that calms you down. You won’t want to do this. Your panic will want you to do something else, something that feeds panic and makes it grow. Do something calming and quiet, even though that activity doesn’t feel right to you. It could be reading a meditation, listening to some quiet music, taking a shower, or saying a prayer. We all have things that help calm us down. Find something that works for you.

If panic and anxiety are a continual problem, seek professional help. But if they are only isolated incidents in your life, you may be able to help yourself. One tool that has never let me down when it comes to anxiety and fear is working Step One of the Twelve Step program. I admit that I’m powerless over my panic and fear, and my life has become unmanageable. Then I ask God what I need to do next.

Don’t let your fears run your life. Make it a goal to get through them. Ask them what they’re trying to tell you. You may be on a path that’s new, and your body is just reacting to that. There may be a hidden emotion underneath all this fear, something you’d rather not see. Or maybe you and your life are just changing so fast that everything in your world is brand new. Be gentle and loving with yourself and others.

God, help me welcome all the new experiences in my life. Give me the courage to calmly walk my path today, knowing I’m right where I need to be.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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