Examine what others expect

“There’s a difference between saying we’re not going to live up to other people’s expectations and actually not living up to them,” a friend said to me one day.

Other people’s expectations, or even what we imagine others expect from us, can be a powerful and motivating force. We can feel antsy, uncomfortable, wrong, and off-center when we step out of our place. These feelings can occur when we’re not living up to what other people expect from us—even, and sometimes especially, if these expectations aren’t vocalized.

Expectations are silent demands.

Not living up to someone’s expectations can take effort on our part. What we’re really doing when we don’t comply with what others expect from us is standing our ground and saying no. That takes energy and time.

What do people expect from you? What have you trained or encouraged them to expect? Are they actually expecting this from you, or are you just imagining that expectation and imposing it on yourself?

An unexamined life isn’t worth living, or so they say. The problem with living up to other people’s expectations too much is that it doesn’t leave us time to have a life. Take a moment. Ask yourself this question, and don’t be afraid to look deeply: Are you allowing someone else’s expectations to control your life? Examine the expectations you’re living up to; then live by your own inner guide.

God, help me become aware of the controlling impact other people’s expectations have on my daily life. Help me know I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but my own.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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