Generosity – Day 1

During my second trip to Tibet, I made a journey to Mount Kailesh, considered by many to be the holiest mountain there. It took almost a week just to get from Lhasa to the mountain. The tour guide, Lami, had made this journey before. He knew guesthouses and hotels along the way to rest and spend the night.

During the course of Lami’s many trips to this sacred mountain, he had gotten to know the innkeepers. Some of them were friends from another time in his life. Others were new acquaintances. Lami was particularly excited to reach a particular hotel and visit with the innkeeper, a man he called “his close friend.”

The first thing we did when we got to the hotel was meet in the dining room. The innkeeper kept commenting on Lami’s jacket. It was a newly purchased shiny blue windbreaker that was light but guaranteed warmth.

“No wonder the innkeeper keeps touching the jacket and talking about it,” I thought. “Lami looks so good in it.”

The next morning, we all met in the dining room for breakfast. Lami was no longer wearing his shiny jacket. He wore a tattered plaid jacket instead. The plaid jacket wasn’t just old; it was too small.

When the innkeeper walked into the room, he was wearing a smile on his face and Lami’s shiny blue jacket.

“What happened?” I asked Lami. “Why is he wearing your jacket? Did you sell it to him?”

At first, Lami grimaced while he explained, “In my country, we have a custom,” he said. “When a friend asks for something you have, it is important to give him whatever he wants. It’s important, if possible, to say yes.”

Lami looked at the innkeeper and gave his blue jacket a lingering good-bye look. Then his grimace turned into a smile. “This jacket is fine,” he said. “It’ll keep me warm. And my friend looks good wearing his new jacket, don’t you think?”

“How codependent,” I thought to myself at first. “But maybe it’s not,” I thought after a while.

When we returned to Lhasa after visiting the holy mountain, I saw Lami wearing another new jacket. It was as nice or nicer than the one he had given away.

It’s important to say no. Most of us have learned that the hard way. But we can say no—and hang on to things—a little too much sometimes.

Value: Generosity is the value this week.

From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact

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