Give yourself time

Set deadlines. Say when. Stop waiting for that perfect time. But be gentle with yourselves and others.

Too much waiting is a trap. Waiting, counting the days, months, and years, waiting for someone or something outside of ourselves to make us happy and magically bring us what we want is a pit. If you fall into it, climb out.

But be gentle with yourself, too. If you’re tackling something new—whether it’s learning a new craft, beginning a new relationship, or recovering from alcoholism or codependency, give yourself time to reach your goals, to begin to get it, to understand.

Some revelations, insights, and illuminations are received in a moment, a second. But the work of assimilating new ideas and translating them into lifestyle changes takes time.

A friend of mine called me one day. He had lost his best friend and roommate to a sudden illness three months earlier. “What’s wrong with me?” he said. “My spiritual beliefs are intact. I work hard on myself. Yet I break down crying, for no reason. I’m a wreck. Why aren’t I over this yet?”

“Because it takes time,” I said. “Give that gift to yourself.”

The seeds of change grow gently, sometimes almost imperceptibly. Birth takes time. Transformation takes time.

You are being transformed and reborn.

Give yourself and others the gift of time.

God, help me let go of unrealistic expectations of how quickly I, or others, need to grow and change. Help me know that I have all the time I need.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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