Learn when to say “no” and “yes”

Read the following sentences out loud.

“No.”

“No, this doesn’t work for me.”

“No, thank you. This doesn’t feel right to me.”

“No. This isn’t right for me at this time.”

Now, try this.

“I have to think about that first, before I can decide, I’ll get back to you later.”

“I’ve thought about it, and the answer is no.”

Now, read this.

“I know I said yes and that this was what I wanted. But I’ve changed my mind. This isn’t working out for me. It’s not right for me anymore. I’m sorry for any inconvenience I might have caused you.”

Now, this.

“Go away and don’t call anymore.”

See, you can say all those things you thought you couldn’t.

Now, read these sentences out loud.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe, but I’m leaning toward no.”

“Maybe. It sounds interesting but I’m not sure.”

“Yes. That would be nice.”

“Yes, I like that idea. When?”

“Yes, I’d love to.”

“Yes, but the time isn’t right for me now.”

Those are your basic choices, with a few variations. Learn them. Memorize them. Then ask yourself when each answer applies.

Learn to honestly tell people what your real answer is. Look into your heart to decide when a thing is, or isn’t, right for you.

God, help me trust myself about when it’s right to say no, maybe, and yes. Then help me express myself in an honest, loving way.

Activity: Do you have a difficult time expressing yourself? What is the most difficult thing for you to tell people—no or yes? Try giving yourself permission by writing yourself a permission slip, then carrying it around in your purse or wallet. It might read something like this: Dorothy has permission to say no whenever she wants. Or it might read: I have permission to say no ten times this week, and yes five times. Then sign the slip, and let it be a reminder to you to own your power by saying no, yes, or maybe whenever each of those answers is right for you.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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