Let yourself be uncomfortable

“It seems as though everything you do for fun terrifies you,” my friend Andy said to me one day. “What’s that about?”

I thought about his question. It was true. Flying scared me. Jumping out of that airplane for the first time was a terrifying prospect. I wasn’t comfortable at all. I started hyperventilating and thought I was having a heart attack, at first.

The first day I decided to be sober and clean and not use alcohol and drugs anymore, I was faced with changing my entire life. The prospect of starting this new life scared me to death.

The day my divorce from the children’s father was finalized,

I was exhilarated for one moment, then I was terrified. I had an anxiety attack and called 911.

I was paralyzed with fear the first day I sat at my cubicle at the newspaper office staring at the blank screen while the deadline for the front-page story I’d been assigned was only two hours away.

“It’s not that I’m an adrenaline junkie,” I said to my friend. “At least the issue isn’t entirely that. It’s that everything new and worthwhile I’ve ever done on my path has required me to be uncomfortable and sometimes downright scared for a while. I’ve had to walk through a wall of fear.”

I enjoy creating a comfortable place to live with down-filled sofas and beds that make me feel like I’m sleeping in the clouds. Learning to relax and learning to identify what makes us comfortable is an important part of learning to take good care of ourselves.

But sometimes we need to leave that nice, comfy, cozy place.

“I can’t do this. I’m not comfortable,” I’d say time and time again to my flight instructor Rob as he insisted that I take the controls of the plane.

“Yes, you can,” he’d say, not feeding into my fear. “Just breathe. And relax.”

Sometimes fear is a good thing. It warns us of real dangers and imminent threats. It tells us “don’t do that” or “stay away.”

Sometimes afraid and uncomfortable is just how we’re feeling because we’re learning something new. Relax. Breathe deeply. Do it—whatever it is—anyway. You’re supposed to feel that way.

Is your fear based on an intuitive feeling of self-protection or something new and unknown? If your fear isn’t based on a legitimate intuitive threat, then get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

Walk through your wall of fear.

Do the thing that scares you. Grow. Then check your fear and do it again.

God, teach me to overcome my fears. Help me mature by becoming comfortable with the discomfort of growth.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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