Look at the roles you play

April 30, 2018


In his book Ethics for a New Millennium, the Dalai Lama spoke of the idea that most of us aren’t a static personality. There isn’t just one side to us; we play many roles in life.

I am a recovering alcoholic and a recovering codependent. I am a mother. I am a writer. I am someone’s girlfriend. I am a sky diver. I am a business person, a negotiator, a woman. In each of these roles, my personality expresses itself differently. I use different talents and traits.

What are all the different roles you play in your life? Most of us are aware that we’re one person at work, somewhat different at home, and sometimes a lot different when we play. Some of us tend to feel guilty about this. “Oh, if they only knew what I was like at home, they’d never respect me as a boss,” one man said.

Take the time to get to know all the different parts of yourself. Honor and respect each one. Each has an important role to play in your life. When you’re trying to move forward, take a moment. Make certain that all of your I am’s are working together for your best.

You don’t have to behave the same at home as you do at work. You get to be a mother, and a wife, too. Honor and respect all the different roles you play in life, understanding that each one has its own important place.

Then remember to practice the principles we’re striving to live by in everything we do.

Our roles might change, but the ideals and values we live by don’t.

God, help me honor and accept all my past and present I am’s. Help me leave enough room to create new sides or parts of myself, too.

Activity: Take some time to write in your journal about all the different roles you play in your life right now. Describe each role as accurately as you can. The next time you get stuck, consult each one of these personalities. For instance, the worker in you may want to make a particular decision about moving forward in your career, but the parent self may have some objections. Understand every part of your personality and learn to make decisions that benefit the whole.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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About the author

In addiction and recovery circles, Melody Beattie is a household name. She is the best-selling author of numerous books.

One of Melody's more recent titles is The Grief Club, which was published in 2006. This inspirational book gives the reader an inside look at the miraculous phenomenon that occurs after loss--the being welcomed into a new "club" of sorts, a circle of people who have lived through similar grief and pain, whether it be the loss of a child, a spouse, a career, or even one's youth.

For more information about Melody and her books, visit the author's official website