Look at your attachments

A friend called me one day. His shiny new car was in the garage for repairs again. “I should have gotten a truck, something practical, that would start every day and get me to work,” he said. “If ever, ever I start screaming that I have to have something and can’t live without it, start screaming back at me until I stop.”

What’s attached to your self-esteem?

Some people attach their cars to their worth. Other people can feel good about themselves only if they’re involved in a romantic relationship. Some people need a home in a certain neighborhood. Some people tie their self-esteem to future events. If I could only achieve this, then I’d be complete.

Take a moment. Look at your life. Is your self-worth attached to certain conditions?

We say we want others to love us unconditionally, but the problem is, that’s not often the way we love ourselves. We say we need money in the bank, a Mercedes, or a Gucci bag first.

Is there a certain level of success you’ve been striving to attain? Are you telling yourself you have to have it to be complete? Maybe it’s someone’s approval that you’re holding out for.

There’s an easy way to see what we’ve become overly attached to. We can ask ourselves this: What is the thing in my life that I can’t let go of and release? What makes me craziest?

Don’t be hard on yourself. We all want and need daily necessities, such as cars, jobs, and money. And having someone to love is a delightful part of being human.

But that’s a different issue than telling ourselves we can’t be happy without these persons or things. Help yourself to a healthy dose of completeness and letting go. Tell yourself that you’re complete and can be happy, just as you are. Let go of your attachment to whatever you’re clinging to. It may or may not come back to you. But if it does, you can more happily enjoy it knowing you don’t need it to be complete.

God, help me let go of my unhealthy attachments.

Activity: What are you holding on to, telling yourself you can’t live without? Is there a person who you fear will go away? Is there a job or a particular level of success you’ve attached yourself to? Is there a level of finances that you’re waiting to have before you let yourself feel complete? Do an inventory of your life. Discern what you’ve convinced yourself you need to be complete. Now, transfer these people or things to a list in your journal. Make the title of that list “people and things I need to release and detach from my self-esteem.” You can still have these people or things in your life, but your goal here is to get clear on your motives for wanting them in your life.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

The post Look at your attachments appeared first on Melody Beattie.