There’s a bottom to the well

“I’m not disconnected from my emotions,” said Jan. “But what I am is frightened. I go so deeply into some feelings that I think that how I’m feeling now is the way I’ll always feel. I get frightened, especially with sadness, that there’s no end, no bottom, to what I’m going through.”

Some feelings are just plain big. It feels like we’ve fallen into an emotional well with no bottom.

We haven’t. There is a bottom. It may take a while to get there, but there is a bottom. And there are ways we can take care of ourselves when we’re feeling this way. Some people get professional help. Others make a decision to go through it, giving special care to themselves. If you’re going through an emotionally exhausting time, you may want to design your own care routine. Here are some suggestions that have helped some people get through these times.

• If you’re involved with a support group, go to your meetings, even and especially if you don’t feel like going out.
• Let a trusted friend know what you’re going through. Ask that person for support; be clear in asking for what you need.
• Get plenty of rest. It takes a lot of energy to go through feelings this big.
• Make yourself get up and get out sometimes, too. Just the sheer act of being around people, in a park or at the mall, reminds us that life goes on when it feels like our life has stopped. Ask yourself what might feel good, and listen to any positive ideas you get.
• Exercise, even if you don’t want to. Move your body around. It’ll help move those feelings around, too.
• Make daily goals, a list of things you want and need to do each day. Give yourself room to feel your feelings, but exercise your will and volition, too.
• Don’t let your environment reflect what you’re feeling; let it reflect how you want to feel. Tidy up your living space.
• Give yourself time deadlines for emotions. For instance, give yourself half an hour to thoroughly and completely give in to the feeling, then go do something else for a while. Go for a walk, watch TV, go to a movie, read a book. Tell yourself you’re not running away from the feeling. You’re just going to take a break for a while.
• Journal. Write about how you feel. Few things in life can substitute or work better than actually making a connection with ourselves.
• Then pray. Connecting with God always helps.

God, help me accept and get through all my feelings, even the big ones.

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