Throw the ball

“I think of letting go as being like throwing a baseball,” a friend said to me. “The problem is, I just don’t want to let go of the ball.” Hanging on to the ball is a temptation. We’ve got it in our hands. Why not keep it there?

At least if we’re dwelling on the problem, it feels like we’re doing something. But we’re not. We’re just holding on to the ball, and chances are we’re holding up the game.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to solve the problem or offering requested advice. But if we’ve done everything we could, and there’s nothing left to do but obsess, the person we need to stop is ourselves.

Here are some rules:

• If you’ve tried to solve a problem three times, and obsessing doesn’t count as a problem-solving skill, then stop yourself. Let go. Throw the ball. At least for today.
• If others ask for advice, give them the advice once. Then throw the ball to them. Say no more.
• If a person hasn’t asked for advice, or if you’ve offered advice and were told no thanks, there’s nothing to throw. The ball isn’t in your hands.

Remember the times you’ve willingly let go. Think about how things worked out for you then. Now remember those times you resisted letting go. Whether you wanted to or not, did you throw the ball in the end?

God, please show me the benefits of letting go.

From the book: More Language of Letting Go

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